Goals are tricky things

It should be obvious to all of you that although I like to make goals, unfortunately I seldom see them through. Like my goal to draw everyday this month….haven’t. Even. Started.

Accordingly, I did a little soul searching trying to figure out what makes our Gwendolyn tick (and what, in turn, makes me yawn). I made a list of things I have actually accomplished

• Snapping with both hands equally loud
• Blowing bubbles (chewing gum) this took me kind of a long time
• Unwrapping a “Starburst” with my mouth really gross learning curve let me tell you
• Curling my lip like Elvis from Dallas to Memphis…. approximately eight hours of looking out the window and trying to curl my lip…. Nevertheless, I can do it! (but only on one side lol)
• Reading “more” this one has been a slow and steady climb. I already like to read, but the past few years I really kicked it up a notch (this year alone I have read twenty-four ½ books!)
• Try everything once (both evil and benign) I plead the fifth. I will leave it up to your wild imaginations exactly what I have tried
• Travel eleven countries, three continents…..
  

I’m sure there are more but those are all I can think of for now. The common factors: Time, Perseverance, room for creativity, starts with a dare of some kind, fun that makes the work worth while, and I just wanted to do it ( I never actually made it into a "goal").

Conflict of interests

Questions I ask myself at the end of the day:

Was my desire to____ greater than my desire to_____today?

Please God: Please myself

Eat right and feel good: binge

Save my money: spend my money

Give: be selfish

be kind and helpful: avoid others

......Et Cetrea, Et Cetrea

To be cliche......."an unexamined life is not worth living"~Socrates

Things I'm learning from working In Dallas

• The comic strip "Dilbert" gets more amusing the longer you work at an office
  
• Copy machines are like willful children
  
• Co-workers are also like willful children
  
• While its OK to push ahead when exiting an airplane you have to wait for everyone in front of you when exiting a bus. (this gets old real quick let me tell you!)
  
• It is NOT normal for older male co-workers to hang around your desk and sometimes its considered sexual harassment (go figure).
  
• Sometimes homeless people pee on the street in front of your building.
  
• Sometimes homeless people eat out of trashcans in front of you
• You still shouldn't give them money (this is so hard for me!)
  
• Never wear heels when you have to walk four blocks in the middle of summer in the city in Texas
  
• There is always unhealthy food to be had in the break room if you want it.
  
• Elevators hate me
• Stairwells are scary
  
• Cubicles are soul crushing
• But office supplies are fun! (so are pay checks)
• Two bedroom apartments down town cost $400,000 (and those are the ugly ones)
• If you ride the bus you are a middle-aged, over-weight, white woman or poor. --I have yet to see an urban hipster, obvious tree-hugger, or business executive ---TV is misleading us!
• There are more kinds of paper than you could ever imagine! Cardstock, hole punched, color paper (not to be confused with colored paper), recycled etc.....

I am so thankful to have a job, I really am.

What did you learn at your first real job?

Poem for a Monday morning

"If Rabbit was bigger,
And fatter, And stronger-
Or bigger than Tigger-
If Tigger was smaller,
Then Tigger's bad habit
Of bouncing at Rabbit
Would matter no longer-
If Rabbit was taller".

~A.A. Milne

SAGU!--I love story

I found a college! I am so excited....more in a minute..

I have always wanted to go to Patric Henry College in Virgina. It is the IVY league for homeschoolers. And In my mind --the heaven of all schools. So I spent my life up to now thinking lustful, coveting, envious thoughts about this school that I was in desperate to get into.
So what if there was no art program, no sociology programs......who cared...it's full of homeschool celebrities like Brett and Alex Harris and children of HSLD lawyers. My father (who is amazing) builds banjos and I am a hippie, It would NOT have been a good fit. Yet, I would have willingly flung myself into that world of lawyers and congressmen in training.....just to be part of such a regal group of people. I was in love. Did I mention the reading list? yes there is a reading list about a mile long JUST TO GET IN THE DOORS! The academic quality is extremely important to me and It only strengthened my infatuation.
But alas it wasn't meant to be (God is one smart cookie I tell you!).
I couldn't get in (I wasn't smart enough) and I couldn't pay for it (not even close)
.....so I told myself to forget it, move on.

However, I secretly thought I should be at PHC just the same. I never was able to get to the point of loving any other school. UT Tyler just can't compare to Christian and highly educated. Infact it can't compare to much of anything. I assumed that I would never love college again. Just as I left the High school scene early, I anticipated never going back to live at any campus.

But the most amazing thing happened! I went to Visit Southwestern Assemblies of God. Then I realized that what I though was unique to Patric Henry was in reality something I could find elsewhere (maybe even more so). It was a Chrisitan environment, geared to help you grow spirituality while you learn...24 hours of mandatory Bible classes (YAY!), and a degree I can really sink my teeth into! The school is more missions focused and down to earth then PHC and I don't feel like everyone on campus will be a republican (that's a good thing). The admissions counselor I saw was excellent and the Staff was friendly. The campus is close to home (Waxahachie) so I know the area back and forth. But the thing that was the most amazing was the peace I felt walking on campus....unlike any other school I have visited.
I still can't pay for it.....but I think with some scrimping and pinching I can make it. I am in love again and it feels great!


P.S. I learned to use links today...can you tell?

OMGosh! Slow Down!

Sometime it seems my progression to adulthood is more of a crawl....or a scoot.....or maybe just a lean. Its like watching paint dry..or grass grow.....Its like paining grass and watching it dry as it grows!

I want to be a "big kid" so bad sometimes!! Mostly when it comes to moving out on my own. WHEN WILL IT HAPPEN.....I DON'T WANT TO BE THE CRAZY CAT LADY!!

Yet, days like yesterday when I overdraw my checking account or "forget" that something I used to love has gluten in it, I can see that I really need to be going slower....Take my time and breathe. I am a promise, I am a possibility...And I am growing up at an incredible rate already.

"I know the plans that I have for your says the LORD".....and sometimes I want to you stay put and learn.

Do you have a problem with out running your growth curve (grown ups too)?